Trapped in Paradise – the DC Edition

Part travel blog, part philosophical musings. All tongue-in-cheek ridiculousness.

The 55-year-old “bridezilla”

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I have to apologize for not writing as regularly as I normally do. I’d usually be able to post once or twice a week during my down time at work, since my job is pretty mundane and even a caveman could do it. However, work had gone from zero to insanity over the last month, mainly because I was voluntold to help coordinate a commander’s retirement ceremony. I didn’t mind the extra duties at first, since this commander is pretty cheerful and I enjoy working with him. (He’s been in the service forever, so in my mind he’s like that crazy old grandpa who says and does whatever he wants just because he can.) However, as the weeks went on and I started meeting with him to set up the specifics, I’ve come to the conclusion that planning a military retirement ceremony is like planning a wedding, and the retiree is basically the bridezilla who wants the most ridiculous and difficult-to-obtain things.

Why yes, I want clowns and ninjas and a giant chocolate fountain and of course I want Putin to officiate. I want it all and I want it NOW!

Why yes, I want clowns and ninjas and a giant chocolate fountain and of course I want Putin to officiate. I want it all and I want it NOW!

I’d volunteered to put together the commander’s shadowbox. Again, initially I was glad to do it… until the guy chose a rather unconventional design, which wouldn’t have been bad except we started with only six weeks to put this together. That would be plenty of time in anywhere but Hawaii, but in the land of poor work ethic and no sense of urgency, I couldn’t find a place that would build an octagon-shaped shadowbox with the flag displayed smack in the middle in less than two months. As it turns out, that particular design is only available off the shelf from an engraving shop in Virginia Beach, which means we get to pay an arm and a leg to have it shipped to Hawaii. The other two coordinators aren’t happy that so much of our budget is going towards this, but despite my best efforts to talk the good commander out of a silly-looking shadowbox shaped like a stop sign, in the end he’s the retiree and like that crazy bride, he gets whatever he wants. At least he didn’t ask for it to be made out of pricey koa wood.

As it turns out, this was only the beginning. For instance, I spent a good part of the day last week sending a fax to the office of the Texas governor requesting a personal retirement letter from Rick Perry, never mind that the commander is actually a California resident. Details, details. And who even uses fax machines nowadays?!

I always thought this was how you use a fax machine

I always thought this was how you use a fax machine

On the upside, I’m finally getting a bit of a break – I’m heading to San Diego for the weekend for a friend’s wedding. Oh, I do miss the mainland. Happy Friday indeed!

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Author: Brit C

Aspiring author and travel enthusiast living in Washington DC. Stop by and say hi!

One thought on “The 55-year-old “bridezilla”

  1. Pingback: While I was sleeping | Trapped in Paradise

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