So apparently Anne Hathaway almost drowned in Hawaii the other day.
I need to get serious for a moment – December and January are the busy months for tourism in Hawaii due to mainlanders escaping the cold. (And escape they should! The tourist hordes annoy me at times, especially when they buy out everything in my size at the mall so I’m forced to order clothes online, which means I have to wait two or three weeks just to get an outfit that doesn’t look like it was made out of bedsheets from the ABC store. But I’ve seen those pictures of Winter Apocalypse 2014, so I’ll relent for the time being. Ditch your iced-over vehicles and come to the islands, where the only ice you’ll find is in your mai tai!) Anyway, with lots of tourists come plenty of beach-goers, and while our beaches are top-notch and I encourage everyone to enjoy them, I also beg you to please, please be careful. We get our biggest surf in the winter (to the delight of surfing aficionados) but even when the waves look deceptively small, they could be hiding a strong undertow or rip current that could take you by surprise. Be wary, especially on the northern and western shores. It was at about this time a few years ago that I was swimming at Hapuna Beach on the west coast of the Big Island, and even though I consider myself a pretty good swimmer I was still worn out by the effort it took just to swim back to shore. And for anyone who’s done the famous Na Pali coast hike on Kauai, I’m sure you’ll recognize this sign:
Even just wading in shin-deep at Hanakapiai beach, the current was so strong that it almost knocked me off my feet. So please be careful in the water, watch your friends and little ones, and remember your “caught in a riptide” procedures.
Okay, enough with the PSA. Ms. Hathaway’s misadventure reminded me of something that’s been bothering me: why have I never, ever seen a celebrity?! According to TMZ and the like, they come here all the time. Dozens of movies are filmed here each year. And even though I’ve come across movie sets on occasion (like the time I went for morning jog down in Waikiki and literally ran into the camera crew setting up for a scene for the new Godzilla movie – sorry, guys) I have yet to see even a D-list famous person. I think I just have the worst luck*, because my friends have stories of running into so-and-so from Lost or seeing some famous director in a bar. I’ve been here a total of five years now and I’ve never seen anyone. Come on, I just want to see one celebrity! I would really like a glimpse of, say, David Beckham, but at this point I’d settle for KimYe.
*Also, I’m kind of cheap. I hear the rich and famous vacation on Maui, and that’s the expensive island. I’m not paying freaking $4.25/gallon so I can drive around looking for a Kardashian.